Pride and Sorrow
by Miharuru
Summary: Kirihara Akaya had always been a boy prone to act on sudden impulse. His hasty attitude was an uncomfortable thing which he never cared about… until something else overlapped his pride. YukimuraSanadaKirihara


"….I've heard you're dating Yukimura..." He said with a fake distant voice. 

"What?" Sanada seemed both surprised and embarrassed. "Who told you that?"

Kirihara could see his captain's cheeks growing red. Why was he even denying it?

"So… It's true…"

The team's commander appeared uncertain about the answer of this question. Perhaps he was reluctant about the reply.

"Yukimura and I… we… are connected by these bonds for long time ago… I… love …him."

Kirihara felt his chest swelling like never before. He had never experimented that feeling, not even at any match. Was Sanada fooling around with him?

"…Are you stupid? What was all that 'You can replace Yukimura' and 'You'll become stronger' talk about anyway?!"

"I'm not following, Akaya…"

"You only did that because you were concerned about the team…" Kirihara giggled. That thing inside his chest, that feeling, was going to explode at any time.

"What are you talking about?"

"I like you, Sanada." Kirihara simply said, with his eyes wide opened, staring the fukubuchou as he could not take his eyes from his. "I thought you felt the same way towards me but apparently I was wrong."

A distasteful silence surrounded them.

"I…Akaya…. What are you doing?"

Sanada observed his teammate while he was taking his polo shirt off. He wasn't understanding a thing from what Kirihara had said… and what the heck was he doing after all?

"I'm leaving the team." The second year ace stated whilst throwing his Rikkaidai's uniform to his superior. "Ja."

And he walked away.

"KIRIHARA…" Genichirou screamed "COME BACK HERE!".

But all that shrilling was worthless for, in that moment, Kirihara Akaya was plainly berserk and resentful.

Sanada Genichirou often visited his lover after school time. The route to the hospital was always the same, but on that day it felt rather long and fastidious. He knew he had to tell Seiichi the late and troublesome news of Kirihara desertion, nevertheless he felt quite guilty about it. He realized, of course, that Akaya's feelings weren't his fault, yet he could not help to pity him and his non-reciprocate infatuation.

He entered the room as he always did and before anything else, Genichirou explained Yukimura the last club events.

"Rikkai cannot afford to lose Kirihara at this time but I can't change or correspond his feelings neither." Sanada looked and the floor puzzled. "Seiichi, what shall I do?"

Yukimura bended his head to meet his companion's.

"Well… I think it wouldn't be a good scenario if Kirihara stayed with the team. He's already a difficult person to deal with; this would just make it worse. However, I have to agree that losing him at a time like this isn't that better..." He paused for a moment and then completed his belief. "Genichirou, just let him think it over for a while. He must be confused and hurt."

"I never thought of him that way" the other boy clarified "I can't understand how did I trick him. It was not my intention...I didn't want something like this to happen…"

The captain glanced tenderly at his mate. He had never imagined Sanada would react that way.

"Don't worry Genichirou." he said gently, caressing his face "Akaya will be just fine."

Sanada nodded and soon forgot Rikkaidai's problems.

Kirihara didn't know a way to alleviate his strained soul other than tennis. It was with that purpose in mind that he was hitting smashes and services since club's time. _Sanada, Yukimura_. Those two names were spinning in his head non-stop. Even if he tried to avoid or forget about Sanada's words, they kept their incessant attack, and so, Kirihara kept his own violent attack at the green tennis court.

Although he was doing that for about 3 hours the stress wasn't decreasing. Every time he hit a ball, the rage and ire within remained equal, furthermore he still wanted desperately to get rid of them. Yet they wouldn't vanish.

_Who the hell does he think I am?__Am I just another member of the team?_ Akaya wondered furiously.

"You shouldn't be so selfish" A familiar voice from behind said. "I know it's hard, since it's you…"

The infuriated boy turned towards the court's door.

"Yanagi…"

"You left the team after I told you about Yukimura and Sanada therefore I suppose it has something to do with it."

"Mind your own business."

"Honestly, Akaya. I thought you were a little bit more mature, moreover you are indeed self-conceited" Yanagi stated with a disagreeable smile.

"Go to hell"

Kirihara continued his furtive training and ignored Renji's presence.

"Ma…Let's make a deal, shall we?"

The ex-regular was trying not to pay attention to his companion words but there was something inside him that was willing to hear what he had to say.

"If I take Sanada away from Yukimura, will you return to the team?" He said with his unpleasant smirk."

Kirihara gazed at him surprised. "What are you saying?"

"Will you?"

"So you've… returned." The provisory captain declared bewildered.

"I've realized Rikkaidai needs me. I apologize for my behaviour, _buchou._"

Kirihara bowed in respect and forgiveness. Sanada kept glancing at him like he wasn't true, that noble attitude didn't belong to him. He was willing to slap him with all the strength he possessed, but he couldn't execute the usual manners on that bended boy at his front.

"Very well." He finally concluded. "As a punishment you'll run 60 laps and play a match against me. Go, now."

"Yes."

_He changed his mind pretty quickly._ Sanada considered. _Maybe Yukimura was right, he only needed to think by himself. _Yet, Genichirou didn't feel 100 sure it was over that easily. What to do or what to say was to be thought carefully from now on.

Kirihara finished the first part of his penalty and approached the central court to complete it.

_One set match. Kirihara to serve._

His chest was swelling again, increasing to an enormous magnitude. _Why? Why?__I'm doing this to win my own happiness, there's nothing wrong in that_. Nothing was ever wrong with it. To take whatever it was needed, to achieve his objectives was never an obstacle to Kirihara Akaya, but this time was different. While he was hitting the ball to the floor, he felt that a disgusting sentiment was taking hold of him.

_Fault_

Plain aversion.

_Double Fault. 0-15_

To whom was this repulse directed?

_Fault_

Yanagi?

_Double Fault. 0-30_

Yukimura?

_Fault_

Sanada?

_Double Fault. 0-40_

No… All that hatred was directed to himself.

_Fault_

The hasty Akaya was despising his own nasty actions. He couldn't bare himself the selfish deal he had carried out with Renji. But _why_?... He never concerned about his deeds' consequences. Sanada? Love? Was he really capable of that?

_Double Fault. Game Sanada 1-0. Change Court. _

_What's wrong with Kirihara? He wasn't able to get one service right, not even using his Knuckle Serve._ Genichirou was perplexed._ That was definitely not like him. _

"Akaya!" Sanada yelled as his teammate fell upon him whilst changing courts. His breathing was misbalanced and his skin was hot.

_He's feverish. _He realized astonished.

"Kirihara! Put yourself together!"

_This stupid love has blinded me. For what reason did I take this deal? If they are together, Yanagi won't be able to separate them. Wrong, Yanagi never aimed for that in the first place. Heh… Deceived again. Renji… what was your intent? Damn it, I can't move. _

"Akaya. Wake Up!"

_Damn it, damn it. Why am I surrounded by all this darkness?_

"AKAYA!" Sanada cried one more time.

However… Akaya wasn't listening to him again. Just, this time, Kirihara Akaya was plainly sorrow and at peace.


End file.
